Haters gonna hate

Two weeks of school left before the summer, one week to the ADCC Europeans. There's a bunch of tough girls in my category so it's going to be an interesting competition. This is the first competition of the season that makes me really nervous. This far I've been going to the competitions pretty relaxed and without to much pressure. I've been training more organized for ADCC than I have trained for the smaller tournaments of the season so I guess that makes it a bit more serious in my mind. The preparation has not been what it would be if I could concentrate more on just training, but I'm happy with the things we have trained with the guys here. When not being able to train two times a day six days a week, I've tried to work the quality of my training sessions and most importantly I've worked on my mentality.

Lovers gonna love.

I have written earlier about my struggles with my self confidence and with finding the right competition mindset. A few years ago I found a brilliant sports psychologist and we worked with the different aspects of my mental game. Back then it was really effective and took my jiujitsu further. Working with the mental game is exactly the same as working with the physical game: you have to keep training regularly, set goals, test and adjust your methods and analyze the outcome. What I realized just now is that I haven't been following my mental training program. I've reached a new level a few years ago, but what comes to the mental game I haven't been developing myself after that.

It's really easy to get stuck on the same mental patterns you are used to. For me changing the mental side is way more harder than changing the physical training. My biggest flaw is the fact that I tend to focus on my weaknesses and my mistakes, and that I put a lot of energy on trying to please other people. BJJ is a sport of countless championships and pretty much every active competition seems to be at least an European champion. The social media is filled with the profiles of champions, and it's pretty easy to lose yourself while surfing through these profiles and comparing yourself to others. There seems to be a lot of negativity and competition, the "haters gonna hate" -mindset as I like to call it.

Many people pour energy from the (real or imaginary) fact that other people are envious of them and their achievements. They feel that there is a group of people who hate them for their life because they want the same but are not willing to "make the same sacrifices"/work as hard/be as tough. This can be empowering: "I'm exceptional, I'm a fighter, I can do what others can't". The ideology says that the more you are hated the better you are doing, because people are bitter and weak and hate those who succeed. And all this might be perfectly true: there is people who hate and envy others and make it known.

I too sometimes feel that I'm being disrespected or even hated, and I feel really sad about it. I've invested a huge amount of energy trying to prove myself to those people I feel overlooking me. I've sometimes thought to myself that the sweetest victory will be when I can prove those "haters" wrong. And I have gained victories, made really cool stuff, won fights. And still I feel that there's people who don't like me or respect me. So I have waisted a lot of energy and I haven't gained any extra value. Actually I have just builded a mindset that revolves around negativity and the fact that I have something to prove and that there are people who don't like me. This is the problem and it needs to be fixed. Concentrating on the negative instead of all the amazing, positive, respectful and supportive people in my life has been a tragic waste of a positive resource.

The social media can give a lot of positive, but as I wrote it can also lead you to a road of comparison and unnecessary pressures. I started to cut off the sources of negativity and pressure by unfollowing people and sites that don't give my life anything positive. This may sound like a no-brainer but I like following the BJJ/MMA scene and in the beginning it felt that I'll miss something important if I don't follow other fighters or websites. It was hard but it changed my social media feed drastically and through this improvement my whole mindset has started to change. It's really really challenging not comparing yourself to others and not taking too much pressure on other people's opinions, but it seems to be worth the effort. This also turns the focus on all the great people bringing joy, motivation, energy and value to my life. And there is plenty of those people! Much more than those who affect me negatively. It's really silly that I have let a few negative people take the attention from those numerous lovely people, and this I'm going to change.

Of course my personality is not for everybody and I may be disliked for my normal lifestyle and the things I do. Not everybody loves everybody. But the haters gonna hate -mindset suggests that you are being hated for the positive achievements in your life. Is it really worth setting energy in such negative persons who really hate someone for achieving something? Is it truly empowering? I have came to the conclusion that it's not, and from now on I'm trying to cut the unnecessary negativity out of my life. Because it is more important that the lovers gonna love, and I'm lucky to be surrounded by a beautiful group of people who make it easy to focus on the positive as long as I let myself to do that.

Peace out! Here are some of the people who rock my World.









reff : http://hannahirvonen.blogspot.com/2015/05/haters-gonna-hate.html

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About : Raja CRN

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